Stealth Sex

I was reading the local paper the other day and a kid's advice column cracked me up. In a piece entitled Hey, Cherie, a 14-year-old complained that her parents were too frisky and too loud about thier friskiness. Once upon a time, I would have seen it from the kid's perspective. Now, of course, I see the parents' side of things.

I have heard from a few classmates that loud adult play time with a partner has caused some pretty funny questions from their kids -- which is why more than a few of us, I would suspect, have had to change some of their habits and now try to keep their amorous entanglements below the kiddie radar. In a phrase: stealth sex.

Now, not to be too lawerly about things, but the 14-year-old who wrote the letter that inspired this post does have one credibility problem. She writes that her parents are doing it "almost every single night." No way. Parents with four kids and jobs, absolutley no way. The average American does it 132 times a year, with married folks making love about 98 times a year. The only group who is above average in this regard are non-married people who live with each other. (I wonder if this point is one that Nicky Grist makes.)

Nicky Grist in the News

Classmate Nicky Grist was quoted recently in USA Today concerning a federally funded campaign to promote marriage. Here's what Nicky had to say:

"Most people want to get married someday, and most do. That's not at issue," says Nicky Grist of the Brooklyn-based Alternatives to Marriage Project, a non-profit advocate for the rights of the unmarried.

She and others have organized an ad hoc coalition that will ask the Obama administration to stop using anti-poverty money for marriage promotion.

"What's at issue is really two things, from our perspective," she says. "Should government tell people when to get married? And should government and society privilege marriage over all other relationships? Our answer to both those questions is no."

For those of you who don't know, Nicky is the executive director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project (AtMP), a national nonprofit dedicated to eliminating marital status discrimination from law and policy. Trained and experienced in both public policy analysis and grassroots organizing, she can speak about legal and economic institutions and their effects on people’s lives. AtMP critiques the role of marital status in health care, employment, welfare, taxes, housing, adoption, social security and immigration, as well as voter trends and social stigma. AtMP is a 501c3 with over 8,800 members in all 50 states and Canada. Ms. Grist connects media to an informal speakers bureau of hundreds of AtMP members who are willing to share personal stories, as well as a broad range of relevant academics and practitioners.

After graduating from Yale, Nicky earned a masters degree from the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University as well as an executive certificate from Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government. Before joining AtMP in 2005, she worked for 18 years in local and federal government, foundations, research institutions and community-based non-profits in New York City and Nairobi, Kenya.

Facebook and your kids

Well, many of us have kids. Some of these kids are getting on Facebook. I saw a New York Times piece on Facebook for Parents and thought I would pass it along. Although the fundamentals of parenting are probably the same for us as for our parents, some of the particulars -- like the internet -- are not. Any other topics of interest to people?

Does Facebook Replace Face Time or Enhance It?

I would love to get the whole Class of 1987 on Facebook. Why? Because it is a great tool for linking people together. It allows us to keep up with friends and catch up with people who we haven't seen in a while.

By clicking on the title of this post, you can connect to a Time article that discusses Facebook use by people our age. Time also ran an article about why Facebook is for Old Fogies.

Please let me know what you think.

A Valentine's Day Greeting from Dante Centouri

Freshman year, Dante Centouri sent a Valentine's Day card to every woman in the Class of 1987. He wanted to do that again, and sends the following greeting:

Roses are red,

My hair is still blue,

It's been 25 years,

A Happy Valentine's Day to you!

-- Dante